As I find myself dressed in bright Orange attire ready for another random job with an event company I do agency work for, I feel like a Chameleon.
A Chameleon, not only a type of Reptile but also a Marvel Comics Character well known for disguising himself as different characters and fooling others by impersonation.
In the various jobs, I do I can easily be whoever you want me to be. I enjoy being the Chameleon, adapting to suit my environment and ‘people pleasing’ to get the desired result.
I know who I am
Deep down I know who I am, regardless of what hat I wear.
This has taken a long time to get to know myself and learning to accept and love all parts of me, means accepting and loving my Chameleon too.
I love my Chameleon because she has been my survival technique since I was a child.
I learned pretty young that it wasn’t safe to be me, to voice my opinion, to be wild, be different, to have my own beliefs. So I people pleased and adapted, became what you wanted, society, family, my environment to fit in, look the same, be like everyone else and be liked by everyone else. To be out of the pack would mean death, so I learned how to adapt to different people and places but found myself feeling really lost about who I was underneath the Chamelon disguise.
Who are You?
Are you a ‘YES’ person, do people not listen when you say ‘NO’. Do you even mean ‘NO’? Do you even know what you want? Or do you find yourself wanting what others want? If they are happy then I’ll be happy?
This was me…
I’m still working on this stuff. The project of ‘self’ is a never-ending journey but I just wanted to share, sitting here in my bright orange hoody how I can happily smile for you today and know that I am good inside.